The Long and Winding Road .
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Micah 6:8

He hath shewed thee, O man, what [is] good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?

I read these passages considering my own path in life and the numerous twists, curves and u-turns I’ve made in my life. God’s grace was surely with me as I navigated the journey. His grace is the only explanation for how I am able to even know scripture at all, to understand a small portion of its meaning and to examine my life through the lens of the Bible.

God has truly showed us what is good. He also has told man – that includes us – ad infinitum that if we will trust Him, we will make our path straight. Um, I don’t know about you, but I think I’ve been exposed! The harsh glare of the truth is never pleasant, but thinking of an eternity apart from God is even worse. That’s why we are to attempt to live out the instructions of Micah.

I admit freely, though with great remorse and even downright shame, that I have not relied upon God often enough or sincerely enough in my life. Even in the last decade and a half, when I claim to have come to know Christ, I have wandered off course more times than I can count.

Again, my own life and my testimony are evidence of God’s mercy and grace. Human tendency is to act, respond, move, do something! I tend to be more Type A than anything else which means I tend am likely rush in, take over, and “get it done.” This tendency applies to business situations, volunteer leadership roles, and especially in my personal life. Rather than allow God to reveal the “straight path” to me, I chart my own course. That’s often when the doubling back occurs.

The world can seem so out of control and our lives can be so busy and overwhelming it is easy to forget that God’s got it all covered! If we will take a few minutes out of our exhaustingly frantic lives, He will remind us of that truth and show us the straight path to the peace which surpasses understanding.

My prayer today is that you will turn over one decision, one task, one activity to God’s direction and control. And that you trust in God with all your heart that He will walk with you all your days.

Mary

Labels: life, trust, understanding

  ¶ 6:32 AM

  The Secret .

Philippians 4:11-13

11. Not that I complain of want; for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content. 12. I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound; in any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and want. 13. I can do all things in him who strengthens me.

Paul was imprisoned numerous times because of his faith. He really knew what he was talking about when he said he knew how to be abased and to face want. He actually rejoiced each time he was persecuted and hungry! Persecution was the measuring stick Paul used to determine if he was doing all he could to advance the message of Jesus Christ! Less is more never applied so aptly than in this man’s life after he was converted!

I’ve never been imprisoned. Although in my youth, during the Vietnam War, I thought it would be cool to be arrested at an anti-war protest. Actually, I still do think that’s pretty cool, but I like my creature comforts way too much now and have some health concerns . . . yeah, I know . . . Paul’s point was that he was living for the next life! This life was just the trial run. This life was intended to prepare us for heaven. Carrying that logic forward, the more hardship, suffering, etc., one endures as a disciple of Christ the less refining is left to be done. More is better in this context.

One thing God revealed to me throughout the past eight months of our adventures in unemployment, underemployment and losing and finding jobs is that money makes a big difference. I don’t mean money makes a difference in whether you live in a million dollar house or a rented apartment. I don’t mean money makes a difference in whether or not you order prime rib at an expensive restaurant or “dine in” at a fast food restaurant. Having money matters when you look to your future needs. Being able to pay your bills is not a “given.” It is a luxury and a blessing. Knowing your future is secure financially is a gift! Yes these things take planning and work. But they are also by God’s grace.

Fortunately, we never dipped below the poverty line. We had savings we could draw on when needed. Many do not have that cushion built in. What I realized is that being in want is really scary. Being hungry is an uncomfortable feeling if you’re not sure when you’ll have your next meal. Being in want is a constant stressor and strain on your relationships and in your life. We realized some other important things throughout these past months. We didn’t have enough life insurance. The main reason for this is that we had both worked for many years for employers who provided at least a minimum level of life insurance.

Now that we are “older” we need more life insurance, because neither of us wants to work until we die at 90! More than that, we realize that is a responsible thing to do. We are now aware that life insurance is a luxury that many working poor, and even middle class workers, don’t have. It’s expensive. We’ve decided to bite the bullet. Being assured neither of us will lose our house or our lifestyle is a tremendous comfort and relief. I didn’t realize that not having that safety net was a “background stressor.”

We knew that our reduced income was a temporary situation. But my eyes were opened to a whole way of living that I didn’t really comprehend before. If you never expect to have enough, or a little bit more than enough, that’s really tough. That reality shapes every decision you make in your life. That is a difficult way to live and I have deep compassion for the working poor on a level I could never really understand previously. I have been given a vision of what the future would look like if we never did find jobs that afforded us a good income. I have spent time reflecting upon what years of joblessness might look like and how it must feel to be on welfare.

We’re evaluating our lives and our lifestyle in a whole new way now. One way we managed our money differently than we would have several years ago is that we never stopped our tithing to our church. We didn’t reduce our weekly offering to our church even on the weeks we had literally no income. It didn’t even occur to us. We never discussed it. A few weeks ago it hit me that we hadn’t even had a conversation about it. It didn’t make me feel prideful or boastful. It made me realize in a very personal and absolute way that God has been providing for us and we expected that provision. Somehow He has helped us see that our faith in Him is all we need to survive—and to thrive.

Money is not the root of all evil. Love of money is. Lack of money can be, too. Another lesson we have learned is to be content in whatever state we are in.

My prayer today is that you trust in God and His promises. And that you rejoice, knowing you can do all things in him who strengthens you.

Mary

Labels: faith, God, tithing, trials, trust

  ¶ 7:43 PM

  Fearfully and Wonderfully Made Psalm 139:14

I will give thanks unto thee; For I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Wonderful are thy works; And that my soul knoweth right well.

This is a copy of a posting I orginally made at orble.com on March 26. Regular readers will realize I have gone from making a daily posting to once or twice a week . . . to weekly . . . to seldom. I don't know exactly what that's all about. Well . . . I guess in all honesty I've been "busy" with the business of living. I told my husband last night that in spite of revelations over the past several weeks, I have refused to succumb to seeking God first AND last. I made a promise to myself and to God, but have broken it over and over again. I know I have suffered physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually because of my disobedience.

Thankfully, I worship a God of second chances, third chances, forty times forty chances. I'm starting over today. Here's where I am -- again!

A little over a week ago (mid-March) I sat in a doctor’s office with some hard-to-identify illness. There was discussion of white count and IV antibiotics and hospitalization. I was alternately stunned, numb, terrified at the thought that I might not be able to live out my life as I had seen it unfolding for me in the past several months.

The ultimate diagnosis indicated a condition that was serious but not life-threatening. The wake-up call, however, was undeniable In the midst of all the testing and poking and prodding I made a promise to God: regardless of diagnosis or prognosis, my life changes today! I realize now that I could only make that promise, more than a promise – a covenant – because God has been preparing me for this lifestyle change for a long time. I had, in fact, begun the preparation before I ever knew I would care or need to know how to accomplish my goal.

My weight is out of control and has been most of my life. While that was not the cause of the illness for which I am being treated, I know it is a symptom of a greater illness—impacting everything else in my life—an illness of the heart.

I had lost weight before only to gain it back – the yo-yo effect everyone talks about and so many have experienced. I know what to eat, how to eat, how much to eat, when to eat and in which combination foods are to be eaten. I know because I’ve read all the books, researched every new and better plan, done all the dieting, and learned all the scientific evidence behind why every diet “works.”

I’m ignoring it all! I’m not on a diet plan now. I’m just eating properly and exercising. I don’t know how many pounds I’ll lose, though that’s not the point. I know I will feel better, have more energy and stamina and creativity. This time it just feels different.

The difference this time is that I have a reason to be healthy and whole beyond my own selfish desire to look better and feel better: to do the work God designed me to do. It is to live out the plan he has made for me. God has indeed been preparing me in many ways for this turning point. Many of the events in my life have served to shape and mold, refine and redefine who I am at my core. God has been busy within me—in my mind and my heart and especially within my soul. So this time things are different.

The difference this time is that it is not about me and what I want and what I feel I’m depriving myself of by not eating the food I am so addicted to, or my eating because of what I feel so deprived of otherwise in my life. This time it is about God’s desire for me to be the person He sees me as. This time, I want to be the whole, healthy, energetic, dynamic person he sees in his mind’s eye – and I cannot be that person with my current BMI, at my current weight, with my current eating habits, and in my current job.

When we talk about needing to set our mind on something – like losing weight or quitting smoking or giving up another addiction – it’s really missing the point. We need to set our hearts on it. We need to surrender our own will and our own desires to God. The past 50 years have borne out the fact that I am incapable of doing what I need to do to be healthy and whole on my own. It is now clear, in no uncertain terms, that God must be the key ingredient.

Vocabulary changes once God enters into the conversation.

“I’ll go to the gym if I’m not too exhausted after work,” becomes “After I go to the gym I’ll have more energy and feel better. I also won’t be as hungry for junk food, and will want healthful foods for nourishment.” Each of us can substitute the vocabulary for his own stronghold and replace it with a new vocabulary that contains God-filled, God-centered words of renewal and rebirth.

This is about more than my desire to lose weight. My weight is the last stronghold in my life, the last vestige of my own attempting to be in charge of myself and my life. I have used food as an excuse to not be the person God made me to be. I don’t even like most of the junk food I’ve been medicating myself with all these years! I am a defiant and rebellious child, petulant and ego-centric.

What is so breathtaking to me is that God doesn’t care how much I weigh. He doesn’t care what I look like. He doesn’t care what clothes I wear, or where I live. He doesn’t love me less because I have built this wall of food addiction around me. He doesn’t try to knock down the wall, because he knows he could at any time. But he hasn’t done so because He wants me to be the one to punch a hole in the brickwork and walk on through to the other side.

Of course, God wants me to be healthy and happy and whole. I don’t speak the truth when I say he doesn’t care. God cares very much. He cares so much he hung on a cross for me. He hung there, by choice, to show me how very much I mean to him. What I meant to say is that God is not distracted or deterred in his love for me by appearances or circumstances.

God cares so much that he wants me to be healthy and whole and to grow into the woman he designed me to be, with a specific purpose and a gift to give the world.

Labels: faith, God, health, trust, wholeness

  ¶ 10:42 AM