This is a test...it is only a test...
Genesis 22:1-2, 10-14 RSV
1. After these things God tested Abraham, and said to him, "Abraham!" And he said, "Here am I." 2. He said, "Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Mori'ah, and offer him there as a burnt offering upon one of the mountains of which I shall tell you." 10. Then Abraham put forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son. 11. But the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven, and said, "Abraham, Abraham!" And he said, "Here am I." 12. He said, "Do not lay your hand on the lad or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me." 13. And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns; and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. 14. So Abraham called the name of that place The Lord will provide; as it is said to this day, "On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided."
This morning I had the title for the devotion in my mind before I even made it to the computer. I had no idea what scripture I would use, though I knew several off the top of my head about being tested. My husband and I are being tested. Not our relationship, thankfully. Our marriage has been a true blessing of late, and has sustained us through our worldly trials.
No detail of the testing is required in order for you to relate to our situation. Each situation is different, but the testing is universal. I have not responded well in the past to the various tests in my life. I have become angry and sometimes even bitter, feeling I deserved “better.” I made the test about me and what I wanted and needed and had earned. This time around, somehow God has touched our hearts and opened our eyes. We are not bitter or angry. We are not afraid. We are in a state of limbo, actually. We are resting in God.
We understand and believe that God is doing some deep, refining work within us, both individually and as a couple. He is shaping us and changing us into His image of us and our lives. He is there to catch us when we will surely feel as if we are freefalling out of control. We have become “softer.” I don’t know how to elaborate on that very succinctly, but I’ll try.
I realize we are quieter within our souls than I ever imagined either of us would be. We have had to let go of anger, self-recrimination, regret, bitterness, fear, selfishness and ego. We each made the decision, separately and independently, and then as a couple, to turn our lives over to God—our finances, our children, our jobs, our needs, our very lives—because none of those things are really within our control beyond a certain point. We are waiting to see what God has in mind for us. We are striving to trust Him and His plan.
Everything we have and everything we need has come from God throughout the past 30+years together and we are fully confident that He will continue to provide for us. What struggles are you dealing with in your life? Money? A job you can’t stand? Marital difficulties? Problems with your children? Problems of your children? Family problems? Health concerns? Life just isn’t the way you thought it would be? I understand. Believe me. I understand.
I am one of the least qualified to offer advice to anyone. I have made more mistakes than I will ever recount in the spoken or written word! But this time, I am doing something right: I am trusting completely, patiently, absolutely and faithfully that God is all I need. He loves me more than I can fathom. He desires abundance, love, hope, peace and joy for my life and He will never abandon me.
I have not posted a devotion in some time and it has caused concern. I apologize for that and I am so honored that the words I receive from God have blessed you. My obedience has not faltered, but God is working in me and leading down a path I have not fully discerned yet. I will be posting less often for a while, but will be thinking of each of you and praying that my test will be a teaching experience for everyone.
My prayer today is that you stop right now, before you do anything else, and offer up your finances, your job, your marriage, your children, and every aspect of your life to God. And that you will rest in Him as you see the amazing plans He has for you unfold.
Mary
