Don’t Attend the Pity Party
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Job 30:26
Yet when I hoped for good, evil came; when I looked for light, then came darkness
Psalm 10:1
Why, O Lord, do You stand far off? Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble?
I took my cue from an email I received from TGIF, a workplace ministry that sends our daily “food for thought.” I have a little different slant, though, than was in the article. At a conference I attended recently one of the speakers talked about the very feeling described by these two verses. He reminded us that God is not the one who leaves; God is not the one far off, or allowing evil or causing darkness – it is us. We withdraw; we have tunnel vision; we hide.
Our human nature makes it way too easy to spiral into a pit of self-pity and hopelessness. If we don’t feel well, if we are struggling with a difficult issue in our lives, if our job is drudgery, we tend to blame God. We ask ourselves what we’ve ever done to deserve this suffering. We forget that our God is a God who longs to prosper us, a God of love and mercy. We blame God because to take responsibility ourselves is just too difficult. Blaming God gives us an “out.”
Don’t get me wrong! I’m not lecturing. I’m speaking from personal experience! I can throw a bang up, over the top “pity party” for myself! Some might even say that certain situations justify feeling sorry for myself. What I have learned, through scripture, through personal testimonies, and my own experience is that God allows us to go into the darkness. He waits for us as we rail at Him and patiently bides His time while we try to take charge of our lives. In other words, He allows to reach the end ourselves in order to find the beginning of Him.
I attended a healing service recently where I was healed of the sometimes excruciating painful arthritis in my upper back and in my hands. After about 48 hours I noticed some of the pain flaring up again. And by this morning (one week later) I’ve had one really painful flare up. But now it is different. Formerly when I awoke with painful tingling and “needleprick” sensations in my hands, I immediately determined I was going to have a terrible day – poor me! I’m not making light of this – I have been in agony! But something more than a 48-hour reprieve occurred that day.
I arrived at the end of myself and found God waiting for me. Through the Holy Spirit it was revealed to me that while I probably will struggle with at least some bouts of the pain, it will not be debilitating to the point that I am helpless – or hopeless. I don’t need to rely upon my own pain threshold because God has taken it over. God loves me so much, that as I draw closer to Him, He fortifies me even more. I am stronger in my faith now that I have been touched by God in a very real and definable way! I just don’t allow myself to be defined by or limited by this situation! And the same can be true for each of us – God is the light, shining as a beacon for us to lead us out of the darkness. Sometimes the light is so focused and minute, it looks like a tiny pin hole at the end of a tunnel. But it is there, guiding us to itself.
My goal now is to expand this new mindset to other aspects of my life! Trusting God is tricky for me because I’m a very strong-willed, independent woman. Perhaps that is an area of pride God is trying to reveal to me – to teach me through. A song I listen to almost every day says, “I am nothing, I am nothing, without You.” And that is the truth for all of us. Christ died for me. God had me in mind at the beginning of time when He planned for Jesus to die on the Cross. He knew I would need that atoning sacrifice, because I would not be capable of perfection myself. He sent Jesus for you too. He doesn’t want us to struggle, He wants us to rest in Him, abide in Him.
And he’ll use our journey through pain, suffering, depression, and sin to teach us to rely more completely on Him. I can’t think of a more loving, merciful or gracious act!
My prayer today is that you will remember “It’s not about you (or me!)” It’s about God. And that you are reminded of who it
is about: I AM, any time you start to feel sorry for yourself.
Mary
