Full to Overflowing
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Psalm 51:15-17
O Lord, open thou my lips, and my mouth shall show forth thy praise. For thou hast no delight in sacrifice; were I to give a burnt offering, thou wouldst not be pleased. The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
God has been teaching me this lesson my entire life! I have a strong tendency to speak first and think later! And boy, have I said some really stupid, at a minimum foolish, and sometimes hurtful things because of my thoughtlessness. Some of them I’m sure I don’t even remember or realize the impact they had at the time. Some that I do remember, I would take back still today if I could. But I can’t! All I can do from this point on is to ask God to speak through me. Beg Him to place in me the desire to speak only His words, His wisdom, His truth.
I do praise Him when I am intentional. I thank Him continually throughout the day for His presence in my life; for the work he continues to do to me and within me. I am aware in no uncertain terms that he continues to refine me – to polish me like gold or silver – to make me acceptable to him. He takes all my regrets and turns them into lessons on how to love better and more deeply. He takes all my arrogance and pride and uses them to teach me humility and gives me the heart of a servant. He takes all my feeble attempts to convince the world I am worthy of love and acceptance and turns them into longing for Him and a desire to lead others to him.
We spend a lot of time and effort doing things to make God happy. Then we say, “See, I did this for you!” But the truth is, there is not one single thing in this lifetime that we could ever do for God! What in the world does he need us to do for him? Can we make thunder? Can we create a universe? Do we know the instant time began? Have we ever set a star in the night sky or determined the sun should rise at just a particular moment? We know the answer is NO. But we still try to do more and more to make ourselves worthy and acceptable.
God doesn’t need us to prove it! He made us! So he already knows what we’re “made of.” He looks within our hearts and observes our ardent desire to be like His son. He sees within our minds and perceives that we long to know Him “up close and personal.” He peers within our souls and sees a reflection of himself—however dim. And he tells us that we have nothing to do. Only to be as He made us—perfect and good and strong and longing for Him.
Why is it so hard for us to see ourselves as a reflection of our Maker? I think it may be that in our brokenness we cannot see for the cracks in the mirror of a lifetime of disappointment, pain, loneliness and fear. If we would close our eyes and use the mirror of our souls, there we would find God and His light would be reflected back to us. Then we would feel the joy of being not only accepted, but loved completely, absolutely, without any conditions or parameters.
A broken spirit and a contrite heart. I’m not there yet, but I am striving for it. Each day God breaks down one more little piece of the wall my experiences have built around my soul. Each hour he chips away a bit more. Someday—very soon, I feel—the floodgates will open – the God-sized hole in me will burst open wide and empty out everything that prevents me from being one with Him. Then I will be full to overflowing with His love. And there will be not stopping me!
Broken. Contrite. That’s what God wants. And in exchange he offers himself.
I hope today you are ready to “go for it” when God opens the floodgates within your soul. And that you find yourself full to overflowing with His love.
Mary
